Pleasing Others

I’m in the midst of a job change now after nearly 10 years, after somehow working my way into the Committed Club.  You know the Club, you’re probably in it too.  The Club is for people who go above and beyond, even when no one is looking, in order to please…. who exactly?

White Women, serigraph on paper, by Hannah Hislop
White Women, serigraph on paper, by Hannah Hislop

Even after giving notice, my manager is still pouring on the requests and I am still – still – trying dutifully to fulfill them, on my way out the door.  But instead of writing about his high expectations, I once again have to own this – this is me and now that it’s happened in two significant parts of my life, it’s clear that I am the common thread.

Yet another strand to unwind from this spool of yarn deconstructing all over my floor.

I did the same as a volunteer.  My organization of choice just happened to be the church. Now that we have attended a new church for a few months, Continue reading “Pleasing Others”

The Wall

It’s time, again, to go out.  Out beyond the known walls.  This has meant so much more than a Sunday change.  It’s about hearing new voices, meeting and listening to new people, reading new authors, engaging and participating: not as one with an agenda but as one who has a lot to learn.

I could have written this as a 21-year old finishing college, and I daresay I did. I went off my security grid and into a gritty part of LA, listening to lives as different from my own as I could imagine.  Teens in the neighborhood didn’t give a damn about Continue reading “The Wall”

Left to Right

I painted the above to express in simpler terms the many words I was chewing through.  Of course Bob Dylan would completely disown me for explaining a work of art, but sometimes growing up means going against our mentors : ) .

Consider the right panel:  the work starts with strict boundaries on the left – everything is clearly defined and of a solid color.  As we move across – like a timeline – we see what was once neat becoming blurred, less defined, messy.  Life still goes along, rich(er) with color, but no longer categorized as it once was.

Left to Right
Left to Right

If it’s no surprise to us in the present day that this piece is titled, “Deconstruction”, neither would it have surprised our ancestors.  It’s nothing new to discover the world is not as it seemed.  I’ve been finding friends through history, each of them deserving a more in depth look, but as a start:

Picasso had the skill of a realist painter but questioned whether realism was all that real.  Maybe the paintings that accurately described the world around us, didn’t. Stripping away all but a few grotesquely exaggerated elements, cubism was born.

He wasn’t alone – Monet in his impressionism, Cezanne in his post-impressionism, Stein in her purposely broken grammar, all became disillusioned with contemporary art’s expression of the world, and used their creativity to shine a light on it.¹ Critics saying these artists had a skewed view of the world missed their point: even the mainstream view of the world has a skew.

Moving back in history, think of the deconstruction Galileo caused when his evidence pointed, against all odds, that the universe did not revolve around humans and their planet.  It’s probably hard for us to understand how much identity and theology had been built around this mis-information.  This simple scientific observation triggered de-construction for many and potential de-capitation for one.

Among authors through history, how many have taken to the pen to describe their movement out of or into faith (To name a motley few: Augustine, Christian Wiman, Bob Dylan)?   Without too much analysis, this includes many biblical writers as well, though some like St. Paul were writing during a time of surety, reflecting back on ‘where they once were’, almost as if their painting would read from right to left.  But then we are gifted with Job and David too, left to right, from answers to questions, from delineated to deconstructed.

Like the artwork above, faith and life look different as time moves by.  But still we see the same colors on both sides, mixed or pure, calling from the canvas.  Asking us to consider if some of the lines we thought un-crossable, might serve our faith better with a little leeway.  And when some of the blurry lines are tightened up, we then hold it in the humility of understanding they will be questioned again.

Newport Folk Festival

With Dylan on my mind, I’m thinking about the legend of the Newport Folk Festival in

26_dge
Dylan at Newport Folk Festival, July 25, 1965

1965.   Breaking with folk music tradition by playing an electric guitar, he was booed by the purists, left the stage and didn’t come back to Newport for 37 years.²  “No acoustic, no folk; know acoustic, know folk!”, the crowd might have chanted, as Galileo’s critics might have shouted onto his stage, “no geocentric, no faith; know geocentric, know faith!”.

Dylan saw there was a deeper truth to folk music that wasn’t defined by the instrument being played.  I can’t resist wondering if, standing on stage with his electric guitar splashing light into his fans’ horrified eyes, the ever-prophetic Dylan was smiling, “Someday this will all make sense.”³

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 

♦ weekendswell ♦

If you like music, you might also enjoy reading Cover Songs. Get notified of next post by clicking “Follow”

¹Jonah Lehrer’s ties some of these pieces together in his well-researched book, Proust was a Neuroscientist.

²There are of course different viewpoints on the booing that day, enough to have its own wiki page

³ Hard not to think of Marty McFly’s Back to the Future moment after breaking from Chuck Berry style electric into a more 80’s style solo, “Guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet… but your kids are going to love it.”

 

 

 

 

 

Ulysses Pact

As Ulysses sailed into the straights known for its seductive Siren songs, he was prepared.  Homer’s Odyssey details the resolve Ulysses took to stay the course – being rope-tied to the mast and stuffing wax into his crew’s ears, lest they hear the beauty of the voices around them and change course.

13_homer_wyeth_sirens
N.C. Wyeth illustration from a 1929 edition of The Odyssey.

One modern take on this story is a “Ulysses Pact” —  medical slang for an advance directive:  I instruct my future doctor to ignore my future wishes, trusting my current health and information is the best I’ll ever have.

A Ulsysses Pact approach is very useful for avoiding temptation – If I were trying to kick alcohol I would make a plan to avoid happy hour situations, knowing when I got there my resolve would go up in flames faster than liquor on bananas flambé. If a friend were thinking of cheating on his spouse I could recall to him the wedding vows made, (maybe put blinders on his wandering eyes?).¹

But should we follow the pact for interpreting how our faith interacts with the world? 

Adaptability

When technology, science, medicine, art, travel and globalization continue to give us more information about the earth we live on, our understanding of God’s mysteries evolve and so must our faith.  This adaptability – letting the interpretation change while keeping the main thing as the main thing – has been one of the keys to Christianity’s survival all these centuries.

Temptations aside, making a Ulysses Pact with our course of faith can be stunting.  With wax in the crews’ ears, we cannot hear or take in new information – our beliefs are set and that’s that.

Shoving my ears with wax means choosing to become tone-deaf to the world around me.

To put it another way, shoving my ears with wax means choosing to become tone-deaf to the world around me. Ostensibly, to protect myself.  Afraid of being swayed by their words, the wax means I can no longer hear that my own words now sound disparate to the next generation.

Into this exact mindset walked Jesus, two thousand years ago.

The religious of that time had set their minds on God’s kingdom, and, picturing just how it would look, shut their eyes tight in order to stay the course.²

So how do we remain open to new information when we already, “know what we know”?

Pursuit of Truth

Here’s a crazy suggestion:  look to the scientific method.

Brian McLaren makes a great case for religious communities to learn a lesson from science that’s worth considering: “Science is deeply interested in facts – in determining them, organizing them, presenting them in an orderly way, and using them in practical ways.  Religion, we might say, does the same thing with beliefs: it determines what beliefs are acceptable, organizes them and presents them, and uses them in practical ways.”³

He goes on to say that science’s primary loyalty is to its method or practice, rather than the facts it currently proclaims.  It starts with a mystery, moves to hypothesis, and after experimentation and time, can be considered scientific fact and acted upon.   But notice:  if new evidence arrives that undermine accepted facts, there is room to incorporate new evidence, and emerge with conclusions that are even closer to the actual truth.

As opposed to putting fingers in our ears and saying, “Nah, nah, nah I can’t hear you.  But the Bible says it and that settles it.”

“Breaking up with old facts is hard to do…but doesn’t discredit science as being unfaithful to its tradition…[instead] it enhances credibility because of its relentless pursuit of truth…even to the point of overturning previously proclaimed certitudes.”³

Late to the party

But if learning from science sounds like something the church should never do, I would argue that we already do it, we’re just perpetually late to the party.  Well, first we deny there even is a party, then start listing all the dangerous things that could happen at the party, then through some emergency phone call step into the party and see that it’s not so bad, and at one point or another we call an uneasy truce with the party and finally come to recognize the image of God in the faces of those at the party.

The church survives by latching onto God’s big story and adapting itself to cultures, languages, and epochs, interpreting anew the powerful and innovative words of Jesus.

We must today acknowledge that we are, right here in our seats, living in a new culture and language, maybe even epoch, and begin the process of adapting.  God’s grace is too good to keep it all the same.

Even if we think we have agreed upon an answer, the scientific method asks us not to forget the questions.

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—————– Notes —————–

¹refer: an interesting post about Ulysses Pact as applied to overcoming temptation

²Since there were no movies to quote back then, maybe Jesus was making a Homer ear wax reference when he said, “For him who has ears to hear?” (c’mon, you know he would have been a movie quoter with that omni-memory)

³These quotes and paraphrased explanations come from The Great Spiritual Migration by Brian D McLaren, pages 35-38.  I would recommend this book to you.  As a start, hear him on this Nomad podcast  and then see if you are so excited that you can’t go back to sleep either.

I’m continuing to quote McLaren because I think he’s onto something, as usual about a decade earlier than the rest of us.  [remember how mind blowing, “A New Kind of Christian” was? (well at least the ideas in it, not the shabby fiction he wrapped it in).  He wrote it in 2001]

Source for N.C. Wyeth’s illustration of Ulysses at the mast: http://comicsbookstories.blogspot.com/2010/04/n_10.html

The Collage

“He leaves the creature to stand on its own two legs – to carry from the will alone duties which have lost all relish.” ¹

It doesn’t exactly paint a picture of fun, this quote from C.S. Lewis, “to carry from the will alone duties which have lost all relish,” though standing on our own two legs is quite fulfilling.

Any lofty goal requires discipline to set your mind to it and stay the course, and this includes faith.

But should we always power through, whatever it takes?

If we woke up each day deciding whether we felt like going to work at our jobs – our feelings would rarely lead us there.  To survive we must do the needful, ignoring our yawning mornings and beach-hooky visions.

But we do, from time to time, change jobs.

Likewise there is no athlete HarryKanein the Premier League who grew up playing soccer only when he felt like it, when the teammates were fun or the weather cool.  Working out is an age-old and proven metaphor for the rewards of the disciplined life.

But we do vary the workout in seasons, change up the route of the run, keeping the end goal in mind.

And here is what I can miss about the life of faith:  distinguishing the goal from the course we take to get there. We want to simply say:

Know the goal + choose the course + stay the course = finish well

This equation works for stretches of time, but we must be willing to review our workout regimen, lest we overuse some muscles and atrophy others.

The trouble comes when we confuse the course with the goal:

Know the goal + stay the course + don’t question the course = trouble

We first come into a faith community agreeing that we want to understand our creator more than we do, tacking snapshots of Him onto the communal wall, then pulled onward by the joy of discovery.  Posting more pictures each week, the collage fills in as we see God in more settings, in each other’s lives, through service and praise.

The goal is seeing God more², but eventually we stop adding photos, content merely to visit the wall, mimicking the settings and poses in the pictures already on the wall. We’ve found a course toward the goal, and it seems to work, so why change it?

The goal is reduced to protecting the course.  We’ve changed from being primarily explorers, innovators, and learners, instead becoming protectors, watchmen, fearful of the outside. (Fearful even of the insiders who might begin to rearrange the photos).

We’ve changed, and so has our image of God.

Throughout, we’ve been learning to make up our mind to follow God “no matter what” (more on that next week), so when we see a few people here and there drop out, we might pity them, concluding they’ve lost the end goal when in fact they may have only changed course.

Into this mystery I suspect that God may be changing up the ways He reaches us

I am challenging myself to keep adding photos to the wall.  Thinking beyond, pictures themselves may not be enough to hold the eternal mystery.  The collage I am beginning to see has paintings, sculpture, tear art, even wild stuff like cristosUmbrellasCristo’s umbrellas
strewn about the countryside. All contributed by so many people (who, back to the earlier analogy of photos on the wall, might not even own a camera)

At times, we can see how extraordinarily good God is, how extravagant with us, how stable and unchanging a rock to hide away in.  He is also a living God who created millions of different organisms with varied ways of living into their “Imago Dei” – the image of God.

Into this mystery I suspect that God may be changing up the ways He reaches us, maybe always has been.

Varying the course has not changed the goal, but does give glimpses of “the relish” to Lewis’ creature learning to stand on its own two legs.

“He leaves the creature to stand on its own two legs – to carry from the will alone duties which have lost all relish.” ¹

♦ weekendswell ♦

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1Lewis, C. S. The Screwtape Letters. Ireland: CrossReach Publications, 2016 (but it is much older than this)

2Is this an oversimplified faith goal?  Enjoying and glorifying God, for instance, captures the goal defined by the Shorter Heidelberg Catechism.

Photo of  Harry Kane / Tottenham Hotspur from Getty Images

Photo of Christo’s umbrellas from http://christojeanneclaude.net/projects/the-umbrellas

Angry Tides

Anger is a great motivator, driving us to rant, agitate, and wake up in the morning – and too often in the night.

But writing is also pushed along by anger’s focus. Wanting your voice to be heard makes adults and toddlers alike do audacious things, screaming from the backseat of the car, hoping the driver will hear of your injustice and recalculate the car’s GPS.

When I’m upset about something – but don’t want to hurt those around me – my brainwaves spin up a nuclear power plant to analyze the thing, working down the levels of what bothers me, who is to blame (me?), and the likelihood of change.

My pastor recently told me that when hard things come along, people are invariably angry, and usually turn that on their spouse.  Fortunately for my marriage, that wasn’t the case – because the anger was focused elsewhere:  the church. Not necessarily MY church, but THE church. But certainly we’re all a part of the whole.

How could the church be so sure about everything?

How could the church be so sure about everything – her teachings so consequential in people’s lives, at times denying, insisting, shaming towards the narrow way? And now look what’s come from it: this one hurt, that one hiding, the other has left it all behind. Anger.

It’s ok:  the church can take it.

People have been mad at the church since it first began and everywhere in between.

And the church is used to it, even expects it, because its visionary founder said there would be trouble in this world.

Quick word though:  trouble comes in many forms and needs to be heard – is this constructive criticism or just criticsm?  When fresh wind blows in, the hatches may need battening down, but sometimes the windows need opening up.

To push the analogy: with the windows only half-open to start with and the issues of the day blowing about, too often the church’s first reaction is to slam the window shut, then crack the window slightly, cautiously, wait about a decade too long to follow the world’s lead and inch the window up (“ok, maybe, but you can’t be in leadership”), and in the end discover its core message of grace survived the whole episode. Each generation has had its issue, so there’s a track record here to learn from.

Why wouldn’t our gut reaction be to throw the windows open and share that grace?

If we’re in touch with the grace we are living in, why wouldn’t our gut reaction be to throw the windows open and share that grace?  To first of all pull closer and declare, “I’m with you” (Moving Inward) and then go find out what that means.

Recently though, the anger fog has been rolling back a bit.  It seems the anger and the pain finally drew their guns and said to each other, “there aint enough room in here for the both of us.” The anger lost, though it’s still wriggling in a severed lizards’ tail sort of way.  Maybe re-organizing itself for a grow-back, who knows.

GlassBeachTideRecedingAnger may dominate for awhile, but then it finally pulls back from the shore and reveals other emotional tidepools to be explored.

When this point came, well, we headed into church – where else did we have?  When we feel hurt by or angry at God or the church, the friends who have carried us through it have largely been from the church. (not ironic: by design)

Though church history, doctrines, and institutions may challenge us, in the end it is full of regular people, who are sometimes willing to be honest about life’s complexities.  For us, those people have been our community, including many long-term, for-better-or-for-worse friends. The depth of conversation, the willingness for and relief of confession, the readiness to wrestle with God’s big story.

Maybe the left hand knows best how to heal the damage caused by the right hand, I don’t know, but the body analogy sure works. I didn’t come up with that one.  Each part playing its role to keep the whole thing moving toward wholeness?  It’s been said before:  “If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.”¹

♦ weekendswell ♦

For another sequence asking if the church is late to the party, see Ulysses Pact

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¹ Eugene Peterson’s phrasing of Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians 12:26